


Not the Strangest Thing

by Emnot



Category: PIERCE Tamora - Works, Tortall - Tamora Pierce
Genre: Cute Kids, Kel is the best aunt, Multi, Neal and Yuki raising their kids at New Hope, Original Character(s), Trans Character, this is not a sad or conflicted story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-23 14:25:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14936010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emnot/pseuds/Emnot
Summary: Wil noh Daiomoru of Queenscove was nine when he realized that no one knew who he was.(“Wil doesn’t know who she is.” Da’s voice was rising in pitch. “She’s nine."“Wil is a very mature and self-aware nine-year-old,” said Aunt Kel. There was a hard edge to her voice that Wil didn’t hear very often. “And if you’re going to be hysterical about this, we’ll talk about it in the morning.”“I think,” said Mama, “that we thought we had two daughters, but we actually have a daughter and a son.”)________Set ten years after Lady Knight.





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story about a kid being trans and everyone going with it. Because (fan)fiction is where we write the world as it should be, not as it is.

 Wil was nine when he realized that no one knew who he was.

Everyone had always called him Wil, of course. When he’d been born, his big sister Lia had proclaimed that “Wilina” was too much of a name for such a little baby. So Wil it was. It was a good name. Mama and Da still sometimes called him Wilina when he did something silly, like the time he hid in the kitchens with a bowl full of Fanche’s cake batter and ate it until he was sick. (“ _Wilina,_ ” Da had sighed, running his hands through his hair and looking at his green-faced child, currently being held at one ear by New Hope’s head cook. “I’m not even going to try to put a healing on you, you know. You’re on your own for this.” But he had relented, late that night when the stomachache kept Wil awake well past bedtime. Da was a softy.)

He didn’t like the name Wilina. It was his grandmother’s name. He loved his grandmother, but he was nothing like her. She was tall and crisp, with hard eyes and a quick smile and a ringing voice. Wil was small and very quiet. He had his mother’s straight dark hair and her brown eyes and round cheeks. He had a bit of a Gift, but it wasn’t healing and green like Da’s. It was a warm brown, and it was mostly good for hiding things. But that was nice when you had a sister who was five years older and careless with books that weren’t hers.

So Wil had always been Wil. He had always also politely insisted on having his hair cut short, and so no one could quite place him for the first years of his life. But around the time he turned nine, people started saying strange things. _You won’t be tall like your sister, but a woman doesn’t need height to be lovely_ , said Aunt Shinko, stroking Wil’s head. And then one day Mama pulled him aside to say that she had gotten her monthlies very early in her life, and so maybe he would too, and breasts as well, and that he should of course come to her when it happened, and they’d have a quiet celebration, just like they did for Lia, remember? And Wil suddenly wanted to vomit.

He took his notebook and quill and stole some good ink from Aunt Kel’s clerk. He went to his writing spot, which was a little broken chair hidden in the corner of the herb garden behind the kitchens. It was a _big_ herb garden, because a lot of people lived at New Hope under Aunt Kel’s watchful eye, so the rosemary bush was massive and hid the little chair. Wil sat and breathed in the rosemary and wrote:

_No one knows I’m a boy except me._

 

________

 

Wil went to talk to Aunt Kel first. She was his Da’s very best friend, and his sister’s godmother, and she was Wil’s favorite person in the whole world. Not counting Mama and Da and Lia, of course, who were his favorites without him needing to even say it.

Some people thought Aunt Kel was a little frightening, because she was very tall and very serious almost all the time, and her pale-gray hair made her look much older than she was. But Wil and Lia and Mama and Da could make her laugh, and Uncle Dom made her eyes twinkle. When Mama’s sharp tongue and Lia’s temper and Da’s theatrics got too much, Wil could always take his books and go visit Aunt Kel’s quiet rooms for a while. She always had time for him.

Wil liked Aunt Kel because, just like him, she saw everything and didn’t say much about it.

He knocked on Aunt Kel’s door, the five quick raps she taught him to do as their special signal, and opened it when she called. She smiled when he slipped in. A big old dog looked up at him sleepily and thumped his tail on the floor.

“Hello, Wil,” she said warmly.

“Hello, Aunt Kel,” he said, and suddenly he didn’t know what to do with himself. He thought he might have to throw up again. He closed the door behind him and set his books on her desk. He immediately regretted it. Holding on to his books had been the only thing to stop his hands from shaking. He gripped them behind his back instead.

Aunt Kel raised her eyebrows over her hazel eyes. “What is it?”

He swallowed. “Can I talk to you?”

“Of course,” she said. She gently straightened her papers. “Would you like to talk here, or should we go for a walk?”

“Here, please,” said Wil immediately. He didn’t think he wanted to run into anyone else, during this conversation.

Aunt Kel folded her hands on her desk. “Pull up a chair,” she told him. He did. A sparrow flew in the window and perched on his knee. It made him feel a little better. He touched the sparrow’s soft, delicate head with one trembling finger. Maybe he’d look at the sparrow instead of his aunt while he tried to say things out loud for the first time.

“Take your time,” said Aunt Kel, and her voice was very kind.

It was actually very simple, was the thing.

Wil opened his mouth and told the sparrow, “Aunt Kel, I’m a boy.”

There was a light creak as Aunt Kel sat back in her chair, and he heard her breathe out.

“I know, Wil,” she said. He looked at her then, shocked, and she was smiling very gently, and her eyes were warm.

Wil tried to say something else — something like — _but no one else knows, and how come no one else knows, and why do I even have to explain it, and does anyone else even —_ but his voice had somehow decided to go away for a little while, so he kept his mouth shut. He looked down at the sparrow. The sparrow looked back at him and cheeped. He couldn’t tell if the sparrow was a boy or a girl. That was fine. It didn’t matter anyway. It was a perfectly wondrous sparrow, with a tawny belly and little prickly feet. He touched its head again.

“Does anyone else know?”

Wil shrugged one shoulder. He hadn’t thought anyone had, but if Aunt Kel had, maybe there were others.

“Have you told anyone else?”

Wil shook his head.

“Not even your parents?”

Wil shook his head again, more slowly. Aunt Kel nodded thoughtfully, and looked at him for a while. The sparrow hopped from one of Wil’s knees to the other, and pecked his fingertips curiously. On the floor, the big dog let out a whuffle and rolled over in his nap. There were always animals around Aunt Kel.

“Would you like me to speak to your parents, Wil?”

Wil shook his head. Mama and Da would understand, he thought. He just had to figure out the right way to say it. But —

“Would you like me to be there when you tell them?”

She always could see what he was thinking. He nodded vigorously.

“All right. I will be. And I promise to not say anything, to anyone, until you decide what you want to do.” He looked at his aunt, and her face was very solemn. Wil nodded. “Take your time,” Aunt Kel said again. “Take as much time as you need. I’ll be here for you. We’ll all be here for you.”

Wil felt wet on his cheeks. He wiped his eyes with the backs of his hands. The sparrow hopped to his shoulder and ran its beak through his hair.

“May I give you a hug, or should I leave you alone?” asked Aunt Kel.

She did always ask, which he liked. There were many times when he very much just wanted to be left alone. But right now, he didn’t. He got down from his chair and held his arms out, and she stood up from hers and came around the desk. She knelt in front of him and held his chin in one callused hand. “I love you very much, Wil,” she told him, seriously. “You are my favorite nephew. And I have a lot of them.” 

He flung his arms around his aunt’s broad shoulders and put his face in her shirt. She smelled like cotton and metal and green tea and horses. When she hugged him back it was like being held by the whole earth.

They stayed that way for a while. Then Aunt Kel asked: “would you like a cup of tea?” And yes, Wil would, and he helped her whisk the green powder into the hot water to make two cups. Then for the whole rest of the day she let him sit in her office and practice all the sparrow codes. She even let him read some of the reports she was sending right to the king. When he caught a mistake — it was the Eleventh Rider group that had come by last month, not the Twenty-First — she told him to correct it, and sign his name next to his edit. She passed him her quill. In small neat letters he wrote: _Wil of Queenscove._

 

_____________

 

Aunt Kel had told him to take his time, so he did. He took a few weeks to sit and write in the rosemary bush every day. He wrote several different versions of a letter to Lia, who was away at the palace in her last year of page training, but none of them quite seemed right. Maybe this was the kind of thing you need to explain in person. That was fine. He'd see her at Midwinter anyway.

One night at dinner in the mess hall he looked at his mama and da, sitting across the long table from him. His parents were debating something, as they liked to do. Da’s long hands were gesturing expansively as he rambled. Mama would interject sharply, her brown eyes sparkling. Wil could almost see the whirl and dive of their words in the air. Even if he hadn’t been able to hear what they were saying, he would have known Mama was winning this one. She could always shut Da right up when she wanted to, and with fewer words than he ever used.

Aunt Kel was a warm bulk next to him. She saw where he was looking and smiled. “Who’s winning, Wil?” she asked quietly.

“Mama,” said Wil right away.

“As always,” chuckled Aunt Kel, and went back to her meal.

That wasn’t precisely true. Sometimes Da would win. But he only ever won by cheating. He’d swoop in to kiss Mama or wink and say something very quiet that made her blush, and then she’d whack him with her fan and go tongue-tied, and Da would laugh his ringing laugh.

Mama and Da had both given up a fancy life, in the Yamani and Tortallan courts, to live here in the north and help take care of New Hope. Mama still always had a fan tucked in her belt and wore wide-sleeved shirts made of patterned silk. But she wasn’t afraid of rolling up her pretty sleeves and getting elbow-deep in whatever needed to be done. She had firmly insisted on teaching Wil and Lia the Yamani language, with Aunt Kel’s help. Da spoke a little too but he was pretty hopeless. That was all right. He was very good at other things, like telling stories, and healing. His hugs were even better than Aunt Kel’s.

He touched Aunt Kel’s elbow. She looked down at him. “Yes?”

“I think —“ he cleared his throat. “I think tonight, I want to — um — I want to talk to Da and Mama tonight.”

Aunt Kel put down her spoon and cleaned her hands on her napkin. “Would you still like me to be there?”

“Yes,” said Wil quickly. If his voice decided to go away again, he would need an extra, and Aunt Kel’s was the best to have.

She smiled down at him. “Then I will be.”

After dinner, Mama and Da and Kel and Wil all returned to the long building at the edge of New Hope where they lived. The Queenscove family’s rooms were at one end, and Aunt Kel’s were right in the middle, and a long hall of offices and bedrooms for guests took up the rest. Mama and Da went into their small parlor, so engrossed in continuing their conversation that they didn’t see Kel and Wil pause outside the door.

Aunt Kel rested two big hands on Wil’s shoulders. “Half an hour?” she said calmly.

Wil nodded. Aunt Kel disappeared into her rooms, and Wil went into his bedroom and got into his pajamas. Once that was done, he slipped out and sat down just outside the parlor door, where the firelight wouldn’t make him visible. He’d spent so much time curled up in just this spot that the floorboards were worn a little smooth. It was the perfect place to eavesdrop, and Wil loved to eavesdrop. People were just so _interesting_.

Not that Mama and Da were having a very interesting conversation right now. It was a debate about poets. Da was a romantic and liked rhyming sonnets full of moonlight and daisies. Mama was not a romantic at all, and was pointing out the merits of a simple three-line Yamani poem about a frog and an oak tree. Even if he wasn’t very interested in the content, Wil had learned how to listen to a conversation for its layers. This one _sounded_ like an argument about poetry. But Wil knew it was really just Mama and Da saying _I love you, I love you_ to each other over and over.

Time passed, and then Aunt Kel appeared again. She had her big old dog with her. The dog licked Wil’s face affectionately as Kel gave Wil a hand and easily pulled him to his feet. “Ready?” she asked.

“Ready,” said Wil, feeling a little breathless. Kel tapped the doorframe of the parlor gently, and Mama and Da looked up.

“Hello,” said Mama, smiling. “Come to join us? I could use some backup. Neal does not seem to think Nukata noh Okimi ever wrote anything worthwhile.”

“That’s because Neal doesn’t like anything that isn’t complicated,” said Aunt Kel. “He can’t handle simplicity. It confuses him. But no, we’re not here to talk poetry.” She squeezed Wil’s shoulder. He stepped in front of her. The dog flumped to the floor and put his chin on Wil’s feet. Mama looked at Wil with her bright sparrow eyes.

“What is it, Wil?”

Wil pressed his back against the warm strength of Kel’s legs. He checked to see if his voice was still there. Amazingly, it was. He took a breath. “Mama, Da —“ he worked hard to look at both of them — “I’m not a girl. I’m a boy.”

The room went very quiet.

Mama sat back in her chair and made a very soft _hm_. Da’s long eyebrows drew together with an almost audible snap. “I beg your pardon?” he demanded.

 _Da can’t handle simplicity_ , thought Wil with a sigh. “I’m not a girl. I’m a boy.”

“Oh?” said Mama.

“Like Kuroki noh Moroshige, I think,” said Aunt Kel quietly from far above his head.

“ _Oh_ ,” said Mama again, and her eyes suddenly filled with understanding. She looked at Wil again. “Oh.”

“ _Excuse me_ —“ Da cut in.

“Well. I suppose that makes sense,” said Mama, tilting her head.

“You suppose _what_ makes sense? Is this some sort of game? Wil, you’re not a —“ Da’s eyes were very much _not_ filled with understanding. He looked like he might stand up. Wil couldn’t back away. He was already practically treading on Aunt Kel’s toes. But she felt him shift anxiously, and she put a hand on his chest, over his heart, holding her to him. He wrapped his fingers around her wrist. It was like holding on to a bar of steel.

“ _Nealan_ ,” Mama said. It was the exact same voice she used when she said _Wilina noh Daoimoru of Queenscove_ , which was only when Wil was in very big trouble. Da knew that voice. He swallowed whatever else he was about to say and glared at his wife. She glared back at him, very fiercely. They had a fast conversation with their eyes, as they sometimes did, until Da sat back in his chair with a frown.

Mama let her fierce glare fade and turned to look at Wil. Wil’s voice had gone away again. Mama got out of her chair and came to stand just a few feet away from him. Her palms were flat on her thighs. She bent at the waist so she could look into his face. Her eyes were warm. “Wil, thank you so much for telling us,” she said gently. “It was very good of you. Your da and I love you no matter what.” Then, in Yamani, she added: _you and Lia are our most precious treasures. You know this_.

 _Yes, mama,_ Wil said. Sometimes Yamani was easier for his voice.

She touched the tip of his nose with the tip of her finger. _Is there anything else you want to tell us?_

Wil shook his head. Aunt Kel released him. _Well, then_ , said Mama. _You explained yourself very well for tonight. We’ll talk more later. I think it’s time for bed._ She reached into her sleeve and drew out a little paper packet of _konpeito_ and handed it to him, smiling. _And you can take this with you, if the sugar won’t keep you awake._

Wil smiled back.

“Wil’s going to bed, Neal,” said Aunt Kel.

Da looked at her. His eyebrows were still meeting in the middle, and he was twisting his wedding band on his finger. “Say goodnight,” Aunt Kel told him firmly.

Da cleared his throat and stood. “Goodnight, Wil,” he said awkwardly.

“Better than that, Neal,” muttered Aunt Kel.

Da closed his green eyes for a moment. When he opened them again, he’d gotten most of the confusion out of them. He came to Wil and ruffled his hair, just the way he always did, and kissed his forehead. “Goodnight, little bird,” he said quietly. “Love you.”

Wil touched Da’s wrist, once. “Love you too, Da.”

Aunt Kel squeezed his shoulder again. “Goodnight, Wil. Why don’t you take Copper to sleep with you tonight?”

The big old dog on the floor looked up at him, hopefully, thumping his tail. Wil smiled. “All right.”

“Go on, then, the both of you,” said Mama, standing by the door. Boy and dog walked out, and Mama closed the door behind them.

Wil put Copper in his bedroom and kissed his head. “Stay here, and be quiet,” he said firmly. “I don’t think _konpeito_ is any good for you, but I’ll find you a nice treat tomorrow.” Copper whuffed at him understandingly, and turned around a few times on Wil’s rug before flopping down to snooze. Wil opened his bedroom door noiselessly and crept to his eavesdrop spot, next to the barely-open door. He couldn’t see, but he could hear.

“ _… be a boy?_ ” Da was saying heatedly. “She’s a girl. She’s always been a girl. I delivered her myself.”

“I know, Neal,” said Aunt Kel patiently. “But sometimes the form of the body doesn’t match the truth on the inside.”

“I don’t understand. I’ve never heard of such a thing.”

“That’s because your people don’t want to talk about it,” snapped Mama. “Just like they don’t want to talk about men who lie with men, or women who lie with women —“

“It’s more common, in the Yamani Islands,” interrupted Kel. “Well, not common, but not unheard of. Yuki and I knew a man in the Emperor’s Guard who’d been born in a female body.”

“Kuroki noh Moroshige,” Mama said. “Kuro.”

“He always said Sakuyo, the trickster god, had tapped him in the womb. There are other stories like that, even in Tortall. Kyprioth is said to be able to switch genders at will.” There was a soft sound, and Wil knew Aunt Kel was cracking her back. It bothered her a little these days. “Kuro was a _beast_ ,” she said. “Could have been a Shang warrior.”

“I knew a woman, too,” added Mama softly. “After you returned to Tortall, Keladry. Yoshie Hamamoto. She was an architect. The emperor hired her to design the new greenhouses on the imperial palace grounds.”

There was a scrape, and then slow repeating footsteps. Da was pacing. “I’ve never heard of it,” he said again.

 _Just because you’ve never heard of something doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist_ , snapped Mama in Yamani.

Aunt Kel sighed. “We can see about getting something from the healers at the Imperial Yamani University. I’m sure they’ve made a study of it.”

“So it can be healed?” asked Da.

Mama muttered something very cold in Yaman. “Yuki, I’m just —“ Da started to protest.

“It’s not something you heal, Neal,” said Aunt Kel. “It’s not a disease, or a problem. It’s just — who Wil is.”

“Wil doesn’t know who she is.” Da’s voice was rising in pitch. “She’s _nine_."

“Wil is a very mature and self-aware nine-year-old,” said Aunt Kel. There was a hard edge to her voice that Wil didn’t hear very often. “Wil wouldn’t say this if Wil didn’t mean it. And if you’re going to be hysterical about this, we’ll talk about it in the morning.”

“I’m not _hysterical —_ “ the footsteps stopped. When Da spoke again, his voice was muffled. “I just don’t _understand_.”

There was a long silence.

“I think, my love,” said Mama, “that we thought we had two daughters, but we actually have a daughter and a son.”

Da laughed once, raggedly. “That seems too simple.” He swallowed. “ _You_ knew,” he said, and his voice was accusing.

Aunt Kel sighed. “I guessed. I think Wil has always known it, but never had to say anything til now, not with living in trousers and cropped hair, and running with boys and girls alike. But puberty’s not far off. Maybe someone said something.”

“I did,” said Mama softly. “I said something a few weeks ago about monthlies and breasts.”

There was another pause.

“Well, Wil told me a few weeks ago,” said Aunt Kel quietly.

“Why didn’t she come to us? To _me?_ ” demanded Da.

“Maybe Wil thought it would be easier to talk to someone who wasn’t family, first.”

“You _are_ family,” said Da, ferociously.

“I’m different family,” said Aunt Kel firmly. “I’m not Wil’s father. You’re Wil’s favorite person in the entire world. That’s quite a lot to face, when you have something big to say.”

Wil didn’t ever ever ever like to rank his family, but Aunt Kel was right. Wil loved Mama. She was the most perfect mama for him. And Aunt Kel was his safe place, and Lia for all her noise was his protector. But Da was — his Da was his favorite.

“You will need to talk to Wil,” said Mama gently. “You did not behave yourself particularly well, when she said what she did.” Mama paused. “When — _he_ said, I suppose. 

“I’d ask Wil about that,” said Aunt Kel.

“ _He,_ ” said Da weakly.

There was another long moment of quiet.

Then there was the sound of Aunt Kel clapping her hands on her thighs. It was her sign for _we’re done here_. “I imagine the two of you have some more things to talk about,” she told Mama and Da. “And I should get to bed — Merric is testing out new squad groups in the morning, and I want to see what he’s put together.” Wil heard her stand up. She cleared her throat. “I care for both of you and your children very much,” she added quietly. “I’m here for you, in whatever way you need.”

“You always have been. We are so grateful,” Mama told her. 

“Love you, Kel,” said Da. His voice was scratchy. 

Kel chuckled. “Love you too, Meathead.”

Wil slipped from his eavesdrop spot and was back in his bedroom before Aunt Kel came out of the parlor. He got into his bed and pulled the covers up, and then opened the packet of _konpeito_ Mama had given him. He ate each piece one by one, slowly, letting the sugar melt on his tongue. On the floor next to the bed, Copper dreamed of chasing rabbits, floppy paws twitching. Wil felt his eyes grow heavy. He was almost dreaming too when the bedroom door opened. Da was standing in the doorway, in his nightclothes.

Wil blinked and rubbed his eyes. “Hi, Da.”

“Hello, little bird,” Da said softly. “I’m sorry it’s late. Can I come in?”

Wil nodded. Da came in and closed the door quietly behind him. He walked to the side of the bed. “Budge over.”

Wil budged. They’d done this a lot, when Wil had been littler and prone to screaming night terrors. Da settled his long body on the bed next to Wil, on top of the covers, and took Wil’s hand in his. They both laid side by side looking up at the ceiling for a while.

“I’m sorry I was confused, earlier,” said Da, finally. “Your mama and your aunt Kel helped me understand better.”

Wil didn’t say anything, but Da was used to him being quiet.

“Do you want me to call you _he_?” Da asked.

“Yes, please,” said Wil. He waited, then added: “I’m always he, in my head." 

Da turned his head on the pillow and looked at him for a moment, then nodded.

Will swallowed, and felt tears on his cheeks again. “Da, are you — do you —“

“Oh, _Wil_ ,” sighed Da, and wrapped him up in his arms. Wil pressed his ear against Da’s chest and listened to the thump of his heart and smelled his Da-smell, woodsy and herbsy. “Listen to me,” said Da. His voice echoed in his chest. “I will love you forever and ever. You are my _child_. I am your _father_. No matter _what_.”

“Yes, Da,” said Wil, into Da’s shirt.

Da kissed his head. “You’re my son,” he whispered. “If that’s what you want.”

“That’s what I want,” Wil whispered back.

“Good,” said Da, and squeezed him tight.

They laid that way for a while, until Wil fell asleep, dreaming of sparrows and secret messages.

 

 


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Story will be drips and drops from here on out.

 

 

Irnai the seer-woman found him in his writing spot the next morning after breakfast. “Hello,” she said cheerfully. “I’ve been waiting for you to tell your mother and father. How’d they do?”

Wil capped his ink and looked up at her. Oh, she’d definitely known he was a boy. “They did all right,” he told her, and smiled.

She smiled back. “Your da thought he was done with surprises after your big sister left for the palace,” she said. “He thought you were the easy one.”

Wil thought of Lia’s temper, her shouting matches with Mama and Da, her sneaking out, her jumping off the infirmary roof on a dare and breaking both her heelbones. He rose his eyebrows. “I _am_ the easy one,” he informed Irnai. 

She grinned. “When Neal realizes how easy this is, it’ll be the greatest surprise of all.”

 

_______

 

And it _was_ easy. Da and Mama and Aunt Kel started calling him _he_ right away _._ They all slipped sometimes, but that was all right. Irnai called him _he_ too, and never slipped. (When he asked her how, she winked and said: “you’ve always been he in my head.”)

Wil’s friend Leo, Loey’s son, who was just about Wil’s age, sidled up to him over breakfast a few days after he’d talked with Irnai. He poked Wil in the ribs. Wil frowned at him. Leo was easygoing, and grinned back. “Turns out you’re a boy, huh?” 

Wil pushed his eggs on his plate. “Yes.”

“Good,” said Leo with relief. “Everybody’ll stop makin’ fun of me for bein’ friends with a _girl_ now.” He clapped Wil on the back. “Tommer’s uncle sent him a new deck of playing cards and he wants to play a game of rummy with you later. He thinks he can beat you, but —“ Leo shook his head. “I know you’ve got that spy’s mind. You remember every card that’s dealt, just like your da. I’m bettin’ good marbles on you, so don’t you lose.”

Wil smiled at his eggs.

He _did_ beat Tommer soundly, later that day. Leo’s marble collection was safe. But the best part was when Tommer, who was a big thirteen and desperately in love with Lia, reached over and cuffed him in the shoulder. “Guess I can’t say you’re good at this _for a girl_ no more, can I.”

“You shouldn’t say that anyway,” snapped Loey behind him, but Wil knew what Tommer was trying to get at, and grinned.

 

________

 

 

Wil still eavesdropped diligently, and that was how he learned that he and Mama and Da wouldn’t be going to Corus for the midwinter holiday that year. “I know Shinko and my parents will be disappointed to not see us,” Da said to Mama one night. “But Wil’s only just told us, and if we go to the palace it’ll be a veritable inquisition.”

“I agree,” said Mama. From the sleepy sound of her voice she was probably sitting in Da’s lap, with him working the tangles out of her hair. “I wrote to Haname. Her cousin is a healer at the Imperial University, and I think she may be able to get us some writing on the subject.”

“Have her send a copy to Father,” said Da. “He’s eager to understand, and help how he can.” Mama made a little sound, and Wil knew Da must have caught his fingers on a knot in her hair. “Sorry, my darling. Besides, Goddess knows once Lia reads the letter we wrote, all Corus will know. That girl can’t keep her mouth shut to save her life.”

“Now, now,” said Mama gently. Her relationship with her daughter was less strained than Da’s. “That may be a blessing in disguise. The palace will get all their surprise out over Midwinter, and by the time we pay another visit to the capital, Wil will be old news.”

“One can only hope. I don’t ever want those gossips swarming him.” Da sighed. “Speaking of which — I’ll write to Dom as well. Kel’s already said she’ll stay here for the holiday, and I’m sure he’ll jump at the chance to see her without having to hide in hallways. And Wil loves him. Maybe he and Tobe can ride from Corus with Lia.”

Wil, hidden in his spot outside the door, smiled. Da wasn’t wrong. Wil loved Uncle Dom. He had Da’s nose and Da’s laugh, but his bright blue eyes were all his own. When he walked into a room it always felt like someone had flung all the windows open on a sunny day. And oh, what he did to Aunt Kel.

(Here was a memory from four years ago:

Uncle Dom had been visiting New Hope for a few days with his squad of men from the King’s Own. He was family, so he’d come to eat dinner with Mama and Da and Aunt Kel. All of them were seated around the small dining table in the Queenscove rooms. Lia had just left for her first year of page training. Even though Wil had only been five and should have been abed, he’d persuaded Mama and Da to let him stay up for dinner. He wanted to hear Uncle Dom’s stories, and he had a question to ask them all. That was how he found himself tucked up against his favorite uncle, across from his da and his favorite aunt, with his lovely mama seated neatly at the head of the table.

He’d listened the adults talk for a while. Every time they mentioned a name or a place Wil carefully wove it into the larger tapestry of the realm he held in his mind. Lord Raoul was Uncle Dom’s commander and had been Kel’s knight-master, when she was a squire. Based on the stories Dom told about Lord Raoul’s wife, Buriram Tourakom, Wil estimated she must be about ten feet tall. And all these other wondrous people — Daine, the wildmage, who talked to animals and dragons; her husband, Numair, who’d whistled up the very ground New Hope was built on; Lady Alanna, formerly King’s Champion and Wil’s own godmother even though he’d only met her once…

The stories were interesting, but it was getting late, and Wil had still had his question to ask. He’d waited for the conversation to die down, and then raised his hand.

Da’s mouth twitched at that. “Yes, Wil?”

“Are people who aren’t married allowed to kiss each other?”

Mama rose her eyebrows very high and opened her mouth. Da smiled and held up his hand. Mama closed her mouth again and rolled her eyes. Da leaned forward and gave Wil his whole focus. “Valid question, little bird,” he said formally. ”Let us review. Sources conflict. Euros Goodspeed, Lord Seneschal under Roald I, wrote a _very_ conservative etiquette guide that forbade all contact save hand-holding prior to matrimony. Contemporaneous writings by Prioress Despina of the Cult of the Gentle Mother exhorted women to avoid even that. However, such prohibitive trends have waned in recent years. Nowadays people are generally encouraged to wait until marriage, but they get up to what they want to get up to without much censure.” He sat back again. “Note, too, that your family also runs in remarkably liberal circles. I kissed your mother a _great_ deal before our wedding day.”

“Nealan,” squeaked Mama, blushing.

Da sliced into his dinner neatly. “But Wil, this begs the question: which unmarried people have you seen kissing?”

Wil had just taken a bite of his own food. He carefully finished chewing before answering. “Aunt Kel and —“

He couldn’t finish, because suddenly Uncle Dom’s hand was over his mouth.

“ _Oh_ ,” said Aunt Kel. Her eyes went wide.

Da set his fork and his knife down very slowly.

“… Aunt Kel and _who?”_ he asked. His voice was dangerous.

Wil couldn’t turn his head, but he moved his eyes to look at Aunt Kel. Her cheeks were bright pink, and she when she looked back at him she shook her head, just the tiniest bit.

Da set his hands flat on the table and looked at his cousin. “Domitan,” he said thunderously, eyes snapping, “I beg of you to unhand my child so I can hear the end of that sentence.”

No one moved.

Then Mama stood up in a swoosh of silk. “Come, Wil,” she said crisply. “I need your help getting dessert.”

Uncle Dom loosened his arm a little. Wil slipped out quick as water and silently took Mama’s hand. As they left the dining room, Wil chanced one look back. Aunt Kel had put her head in her hands. Da was glaring fiercely at Uncle Dom. Uncle Dom looked like he was trying not to laugh.

As soon as the door shut behind Mama there was quite a _lot_ of shouting.

Wil sighed. He really had thought things would quiet down, with Lia gone.

Mama knelt in front of him and took his hands. She looked like she was trying not to laugh too. “Wil, I want you to know that you did nothing wrong. But you are a very observant child, and sometimes you may see things you should not. Secret things.”

“Like Aunt Kel and Uncle Dom kissing?”

Mama closed her eyes for a moment and pressed her lips together, trying not to smile. When she opened her eyes again, they were dancing. “Yes, Wil. Exactly like that. Now, that is an example of a good secret. If you see something like that, you may just… keep it to yourself.”

“Yes, Mama.”

Mama’s face went a little serious. “ _If_ , however, you see a bad secret that is dangerous, or means harm to someone, come tell myself or your father right away.”

“Good secrets and bad secrets,” confirmed Wil.

“Yes. Good secrets and bad secrets. Aunt Kel and Uncle Dom are a good secret. They make each other happy, and they are not hurting anyone. But it must be secret, because their work makes it difficult for them to be together.”

“And because they didn’t want Da to shout at them?”

On cue, Da yelled from the other room: “… are a _corrupting influence_ and deserve to be _cast out_ of this _family_ \--“

Mama sighed and squeezed Wil’s hands. “I doubt that they wanted your father to shout at them. But your father does love to shout sometimes, and I think they are graciously indulging him. Shall we give him some time to calm down, and make tea?”

Wil nodded.

By the time he and Mama came back into the dining room with plates of _daifukumochi_ , Da was sitting on the other side of the table from where he’d been earlier. Uncle Dom had switched places with him, and now he and Aunt Kel were side-by-side, with their shoulders touching. Aunt Kel’s cheeks were still pink. Wil could see that Uncle Dom had one hand on her knee, under the table. His eyes were twinkling. 

When Wil passed him, Uncle Dom snagged the back of his shirt. “Come here, you imp,” he told him with a grin, and Wil gladly clambered into his lap. Uncle Dom’s lap was broader than Aunt Kel’s and he didn’t have Da’s bony knees. As far as laps went, it was just right.

Aunt Kel passed him a _daifukumochi_ and kissed his cheek. “You’re too sharp, little bird,” she told him softly, smiling her warm smile and shaking her head.

At that point Da had grumbled something from the other side of the table, arms crossed over his chest. Mama had said something else, laughing, and poked him in the ribs. Wil hadn’t paid attention to either of them, because Uncle Dom had wrapped his arm around Aunt Kel’s shoulders and pressed his face into her not-all-gray-yet-but-almost hair. They had been sitting so close together that Wil had realized he could be in both of their laps at _once_ if he wanted, and that was just wonderful, and that was where he had fallen asleep.)

 _______

 

Ever since then, whenever Uncle Dom came to visit, Aunt Kel’s rooms were mostly out-of-bounds for Wil. This year the midwinter snows had come early and covered up the chair in the herb garden. So he was doing all his reading in his own room. Da had given him an early midwinter gift of Ludo Sylvian’s _Early Carthaki Cryptography._ Wil was sitting on his bed copying out an example of hieroglyphic codes when Lia kicked his door open.

Wil looked up warily. 

His sister was fourteen now. She was very tall and beautiful in a slightly mad way, with Da’s green eyes and wavy hair that she never bothered to brush. She had big feet and a tremendous temper and an aptitude for making boys fall helplessly in love with her. She was also, probably, the least graceful person Wil had ever known. She dropped heavily into his desk chair and threw an apple at him. “Here. I stole these from Fanche.”

Wil caught the apple and inspected it. “Wasn’t she saving these for pie?”

Lia scoffed, and bit into her own apple. “She had _tons_ ,” she informed him, around a mouthful. “What are you reading?”

Wil took a bite of apple, chewed, and swallowed. “Da gave me a book about codes.”

“ _Nerd,”_ said Lia affectionately. Wil grinned.

They sat for a while. Lia chomped her apple and tapped her feet on the floor and hummed tunelessly while Wil worked on the code. When Lia finished her apple, she went to Wil’s window, opened it a crack, and lobbed the core out into the snow. Then she sat back down with a thump and stared at Wil with her green eyes. 

Wil rose his eyebrows at her. “What?”

Lia kicked the heel of her boot on the floor. “So I hear you’re a boy.” 

“Yes,” said Wil, looking down at his paper and smoothing it out. 

“Since when?”

“Since ever,” said Wil evenly.

“Hm,” said Lia, and drummed her heels. “Well, it’s not the strangest thing about you, that’s for sure.”

Wil rolled his eyes.

Lia stood up, almost knocking Wil’s chair over in the process. She leaned over and smacked the top of his head. “Good talk,” she said, and left.

A minute later she stuck her head around the doorframe again. “Hey, Wil.”

Wil looked up.

“Anyone tries to pick a fight with you about this, you send ‘em to me.” She grinned, showing teeth. “Padraig haMinch says I’m a tornado with a sword." 

Wil thought about this image for a moment. It seemed accurate. He smiled. “Thanks.” 

Lia gave him a careless salute and vanished again, shutting his door with a slam that made it rattle in its frame. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lia is a bro.


End file.
